THE TRUTH ABOUT CONFIDENCE: IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

"If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." – Vincent Van Gogh

We talk about it like it’s some magical trait certain people are born with—a mysterious quality that makes life’s challenges look effortless. But here’s the truth: confidence is rarely about knowing exactly what to do. It’s about choosing to act anyway.

True confidence is not the absence of fear or uncertainty—it’s the willingness to take steps toward what matters to you, even if your hands are shaking and the outcome is still a mystery.

I’ve learned to see it like this:

• It’s part courage. Choosing to show up.

• Part competence. Building skills over time.

• And a healthy dose of self-compassion. Being kind to yourself in the process.

Because at its core, confidence is not a feeling you wait for—it’s a decision you make.

Where Confidence Really Comes From

Your beliefs about yourself weren’t built overnight. They’ve been shaped by your family, friends, teachers, community—and yes, even the endless scroll of social media.

Confidence grows when you’re rooted in who you are, what you value, and the work you’ve put in to become who you are today.

That connection to your authentic self is what takes the pressure off. Not because fear disappears, but because you realize fear isn’t always the enemy.

Sometimes self-doubt is just a signal:

• Maybe you need more preparation.

• Maybe it’s time to pivot.

• Maybe you simply need a pause before the next big leap.

And here’s the game-changer: practice. When you prepare—whether it’s for a presentation, a conversation, or a new chapter—you give your mind something to lean on when pressure is high.

What It Really Means to Be Confident

When you picture a confident person, you might imagine big gestures and bold moves. But the truth? There’s just as much bravery in the quiet, consistent steps as there is in the grand leaps.

Confidence isn’t about never doubting yourself. It’s about choosing, again and again, to act in alignment with your values—especially on the days you feel unsure.

And here’s the part most people miss: self-compassion is a power move. Speaking to yourself like you would to someone you deeply love changes everything.

You don’t need to change your personality to be confident. You can be bold and kind. Powerful and gentle. Strong and completely yourself.

Ask yourself: What’s one time I let my inner critic stop me from trying something new? And what could I say to myself next time to move forward with kindness instead of criticism?

What Confidence Is Not

Confidence is not arrogance. It’s not narcissism. And it’s not about having the loudest voice in the room.

In fact, when you’re truly confident, you’re less self-absorbed—because you’re not stuck in your head worrying about how you’re coming across.

Confidence is not:

• Talking over everyone to prove your point.

• Measuring your worth by your car, house, or bank account.

• Thinking you have nothing left to learn.

Real confidence is grounded. It knows both strengths and weaknesses. It can take constructive feedback without defensiveness. It speaks with conviction but listens with openness.

And maybe most importantly—it understands that failure, anxiety, and self-doubt are part of the journey. Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel those things. It means you can handle them—and keep going anyway.

So, here’s the invitation: Think of one person you believe embodies true confidence. Study how they move through challenges, how they treat themselves, and how they treat others.

Then ask yourself—what’s one small, bold step I can take today that’s aligned with my values?

Because confidence isn’t about waiting until you feel ready. It’s about deciding that ready or not…

You’re going.