The Question That Made Me Rethink Who I Am

Someone asked me to finish this sentence… I am ___.

And for the first time in a long time — I didn’t know how to answer.

I was at Bible study yesterday, and the teacher asked us to answer one simple question: Who are you?

Not what you do. Not who you’re responsible for.

Just… I am ___.

I realized something surprised me.

I know my values.

I know my boundaries.

I know what I want.

But when it came to answering who I am — without roles, labels, or expectations — I froze.

And that’s when it clicked.

Knowing what you stand for isn’t the same as knowing who you are.

Values guide us.

Boundaries protect us.

Desires move us forward.

But identity…

Identity is deeper than all of that.

If I want to become her again — the grounded, confident, peaceful version of me — I can’t just add better habits or routines.

I have to remember who I am.

Not who I’ve been programmed to be.

Not who I should be.

But who I am beneath all of that.

I don’t think we discover who we are by doing more.

I think we remember who we are by slowing down.

By peeling back the layers.

By questioning the stories we inherited.

By creating space to listen.”

If you’re reading this, I want to invite you into a moment of reflection.

Ask yourself:

"Who am I when no one needs anything from me?”

“Who am I when I’m not trying to prove, fix, or perform?”

“What part of me feels ancient… familiar… steady?”

Let one word, image, or feeling come up.

You can also try this simple identity audit:

Write three lists.

Who I was taught to be.

Who I chose to become.

And who I am remembering.

Pay attention to what feels heavy… and what feels true.

For me, this realization opened the door to something deeper.

I realized I needed to release the identities I’ve been carrying that were never mine.

And that’s why I created an EFT tapping practice to help me — and anyone who feels called — embrace who they truly are.

If this resonated with you, you’re not alone.

This work — the identity work — is something I go deeper into inside the Done Playing Small membership.

There you’ll find the full EFT practice, guided reflections, and tools to help you come home to yourself.

And maybe today…

You don’t need to finish the sentence perfectly.

Maybe it’s enough to begin with:

"I am remembering.”

ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS

1. Who am I when no one needs anything from me?

“When no one needs anything from me…

I’m quiet.

I’m present.

I’m intentional with my time.

I love being outside in stillness — which is rare right now, especially with a toddler — but when I get those moments, I don’t want to fill them. I want to just be.

Be with nature.

Be with myself.

I love to read.

I love to color.

I love to journal.

There’s something about slowing down that feels like coming home.”

2. What feels true even when no one agrees?

“Lately, I’ve found myself in a place where not many people understand what I’m doing.

I’ve been judged.

I’ve been called selfish.

But only because I don’t want the conventional lifestyle.

I want slow mornings — grounded, intentional.

I want to unschool my daughter.

I want to cook fresh, whole meals.

I want to be present with my children.

And I want to work on my terms.

I want to be in control of my time… my schedule… my life.

And even when no one agrees — this has felt right in my body for a very long time.”

3. What part of me feels ancient and familiar?

“Something surprising has been happening lately.

I’ve been feeling deeply drawn to very old times — the 1800s, specifically.

Over the past few months, I’ve had the chance to visit old places… and every time I’m there, I feel at peace. I feel grounded. I feel like I belong.

It’s a strange, beautiful feeling.

And it’s made me realize something important.

I don’t think the life I thought I wanted is actually my root.

Luxury isn’t my origin.

Simplicity is.

Nature is.

A grounded, intentional life feels ancient in me — like it’s always been there.”

4. What identities did I inherit vs. choose?

“This part is still unfolding for me, but some things are already clear.

One is money.

The way I think and feel about money doesn’t fully align with who I’m becoming — because I inherited those beliefs. From my parents. From generations before me.

Another one is the hustle mindset.

Get a job. Work endlessly. Work until you die.

I remember my grandmother working almost until her very last months.

She was tired.

She should have been resting.

But there she was… still working.

And I don’t judge that — but I also know life is meant for more than just passing by.

Health is another inherited pattern.

Movement, nourishment, intentional eating — no one taught that.

So it makes sense that I sometimes fall back into old patterns.

Because these things are learned… and I’m learning them now.”

5. If I remove all the “shoulds”… what remains?

“When I remove all the ‘shoulds’…

What remains is a very quiet life.

A slow life.

A present life.

A life that feels blissful.

Peaceful.

Grounded.

A life lived close to nature.

And that…

That feels like who I am.”